Going Todash [dream blog]

Astronauts

Thu, 11 Dec 2008 07:13:00 GMT

I was working again for Sikorsky Aircraft and for some reason the company sent some of us on a vacation out in the country. In attendance was Paul, Rich, and Jenny.

We spent a couple days at a cabin and partied just like an normal group. We spent some time in the remote town just up the road from camp and partied pretty hard. Then our boss showed up to ask us a question and then it became apparent why we were asked to this vacation spot.

The earth was in peril and someone needed to deliver a huge bomb to a meteorite that was supposed to put the earth in jeopardy. Of course we all volunteered. This would be my first time in space and I did not want to be the only one to back out.

I agreed and walked around the space vehicle that was brought out to the camp complete with launch pad. It looked like a rocket and the front looked like the front of a big white economy van.

Before taking off we went to our last dinner in town and for last briefing. Everyone watched us and applauded us. Were suddenly became famous. i was in my suit that we would travel in and it was very cumbersome to walk in.

We were briefed and were told that if anything would go wrong we could not jeopardize the people on earth so we must blow ourselves up. Suddenly it was becoming serious and I was getting terrified. I mentioned that maybe we could set it up to blow and then jump. Everyone laughed because we would not even have parachutes.

So that was it and I feared that this was a suicide mission. I came to a place in my mind that I was comfortable with dying and was hoping it would be sudden. The plan was to huddle together for the last moments and be together as it exploded. there was not mention that the mission might be successful.

We started up the engines for take off and we were ready to save the world. As the craft flew into space first we had to attend with power lines and obstacles just getting into the air. I had a bomb in hand and settles into position. Blast off!

Apartment Hunting

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 07:41:00 GMT

I arrived at this apartment to find no one home so instead of coming back I snuck in. It seemed that no one was living there any longer.

I began to look around and finally after going into each room I headed out to the porch. I was amazed about the size and immediately fell in love with it.

Suddenly this guy shows up on a motorcycle. As he pulls in I remember seeing him before and realize that he lives in the house (apartment) that I just entered without permission.

I startle him and immediately explain that I am looking at the apartment. He is mad and accuses me of breaking his door chain lock.

I apologize but know that I didn't break it. The rest of my interaction was me trying to explain and apologizing. It was hopeless and he just got more irritated. I find out that the entire apartment was not for rent, just half of it. "I can not see you as my roommate. I don't like you", he told me.

As he was going out to the garage I mumbled (as if talking to a camera) "JERK" .... pf course he herd me and paused.

I left before we got into a fight. I walked into a beautiful autumn day, down the street. Walking aimlessly.

The Bitter End

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 07:07:00 GMT

Last night the setting was a huge hockey rink at the Bitterroot Resort. The world was coming to an end and I ran into this rink. There was this womens hockey team that ran into the building as well. I though this was an opportunity to meet some cute girls and went with them into a bunker in the basement of the building. Even with the world ending I was trying to find a life partner.

We stayed there for quite a while and I was convinced that the world did not end and that we should at least get comfortable. I went out looking around. I came back and said the coast was clear and they left the room, mostly going to find a place to urinate and take care of stuff. I got bored and left the building.

To my dismay I found out that the thugs at Bitterroot Resort were to blame for the false alarm and that they took off up Lolo Peak with 4x4s. They ripped up terrain and did this out of spite and because they were drunk. I thought I had allies back at the rink and went back for them.

They had abandoned me and I waited for them to return so we could teach these ass holes a lesson. They never returned and I wondered next door to a house where these hippies were hanging out drinking coffee. I sat with them and made myself a alcoholic wheat grass drink. They offered me beverages and to join them. I told them I was on a mission and that I was tired of hanging out with superficial people.

I figured I would rally them at least to fight these thugs on the mountain but when the time came they just sat there to watch me. I was an outcast, the only one interested in saving the world. But then I realized it was only because I wanted to impress my friends (the girls) and in reality I was a coward.

Going To Jail

Fri, 14 Dec 2007 07:30:00 GMT

Last night I was going to jail. I was going to jail because I protested and actually got a pedestrian walk put in near the fairgrounds to save lives. Too many people were getting ran over crossing the street.

I had 24 hours before I went to jail so I hooked up with my friends in a nearby park. I was involved with a new game of Warlock that was played in a large fields. This one player was my girlfriend and we had made a new commitment to stay together.

I wondered if she would stick with me while I was in jail so i sent her a message. I said that i hope to see her when i get out.

Soon she showed up and we went for a walk just moments before I was to turn myself in. The last part I actually used the cross walk that I had protested for. She agreed to be there when I got out.

I cant help but to think that this girlfriend represents what I want and going to jail represents the real world. So tonight if I dream I will be getting out of jail and meeting up with my girlfriend. Am I having a tough time with reality? Do I want to be awake? Hmmmm!

The Lake

Sat, 03 Nov 2007 11:53:00 GMT

Last night the setting was a big beautiful lake. I was staying in this huge house on the lake and was accompanied by a lover. When we moved in we noticed two rooms where one was haunted and one was a safe haven.

Our friends came over and spent the afternoon putting on a bike rack when someone had an idea of going for a boat ride. I was torn because there was going to be a race around the lake and I wanted to pre-ride the loop. I gave in to my girlfriend though and went with the group in the boat.

I could not have fun and soon bailed out to go pre-ride the trail around the lake. I jumped into another boat that was returning to the house. On out way back the boat sprung a leek. I tried to swim into shore and only myself and my friend made it, the others drown. As we climbed out I wanted to be cool like my friend so I climbed up a bridge instead of just walking out on shore.

I was soon deemed "not cool" as I accidentally knocked in cans of Pepsi from the bridge and into the lake. i walked home alone and when I arrived I was so happy.

Suicidal Tendancies

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 07:05:00 GMT

I was at the Osprey Stadium for the Thunder and Lightening Cyclocross Race and my grandma came to visit Missoula to watch the race. Something was terribly wrong because grandma was different. It seems grandma kept trying suicide and I had to watch her at all times.

I line up for the race but during the race a group of terrorists captured the facility and held everyone hostage. My grandma stole the show as she attempted to drive her car right into the stadium and kill herself. I rushed to stop it and everyone gathered at the rail in the front row.

Suddenly the focus shifted to a news report about how ironic it was that rich people wanted front row seats instead of the million dollar back row seats. The interesting part is that in the dream the rich paid big bucks to be furthest away ... which is backwards isn't it?

All Alone

Tue, 26 Dec 2006 06:17:00 GMT

Last night I was working in a trailer. One of those trailers that people live in and it resembled the trailer that I grew up in. There was this girl that I had a crush on. I was jealous that she was apparently dating another co worker. This guy was hansom and apparently did not have the hangup that I had in making moves on a beautiful girl.

We maintained a friendly relationship and I made excuses to do work in ways that would provide me maximum exposure to her. I really liked her and when I had a chance we talked a lot.

On time she actually started to tell me that she really did not like this other co worker in the way I thought. They were not dating. She made it known to me that she was interested in me.

I thought to myself that she said that to all men and she was just wanting to use me.

I woke up all alone and now I know why.

Buffalo

Wed, 29 Nov 2006 07:08:00 GMT

Last night i was hanging out at an old cabin with buffalo all around. There was this one buffalo i was bonding with. Everything I tried to do the buffalo tried to do.

I was also scared of this beast. I wanted a place i could go in case this big animal decided to turn on me and hurt me.

I started experimenting with jumping up on the cabins deck. it was a narrow shelf about ten feet off the ground. Wouldn't you know it the old beast jumped up on it too but quickly jumped back off. There is no where you can go to hide from your big issues. One day you will be gone and there is no use being afraid every day that the big one will come.

Chris The Chef

Tue, 21 Nov 2006 07:00:00 GMT

One of my highlights in living in the North Country of New York for 13 years racing mountain bikes was my friendship with a guy named Chris. But distance and time have separated my friend and I until last night.

I was part of a group that kidnapped the space shuttle. we snuck into the craft while it was on display in a small western town.

We took off and learned to fly as we went along. It was great fun but soon we were talked down by authorities and given a opportunity to not get arrested if we just returned the space craft unharmed. So I did.

We were kind of celebrities in this small town and everywhere we went we were offered places to live and work. I got a job in the basement of a cafe entertaining the employees. Soon though this gig turned into a real job and I considered moving on once more.

Then I was told that an old friend of mine was the cook at this establishment. It was Chris. I went upstairs to visit and sure enough it was him.

The rest of the night I visited with him and took orders from the staff. In the end I was not really a celebrity but a slave with my only claim to fame being that I knew the chef.

Self Power

Tue, 07 Nov 2006 07:39:00 GMT

Last night my parents moved to the place that I called home. I am thinking this is Montana but you know how dreams go. It could of been anywhere.

As they were settling in I traveled to Niagara Falls to get some old bike parts and my racing kit. I needed them because I was going to start racing again. I had stopped racing when I was separated from my parents.

Then once I got home my new parts had arrived and I gathered all the parts that i had collected and got ready for my first race. The excitement was high for me but no one else cared. I tried my best to get everyone excited but to no avail. So I decided to go alone.

I was at a gas station gassing up. A friend showed up and showed some enthusiasm about my race. They were going to the race as well. Suddenly my friend took the gas nozzle out of his car and put it into mine. I was enraged that this friend was reducing my life to his powers.

Suddenly I had an idea to protest his generosity. I took the nozzle that I was using and started discharging it into the garbage can. If I was not allowed to gas up my own car I was at least still going through with my plan to take myself to the races. ... Under my OWN power!

I believe cycling is a religion and it is about self power and this was my way of preserving it. This rings true in my real life. I believe in cycling and empowering my self to move forward and turn the wheels of life.

Dead Teacher

Wed, 01 Nov 2006 07:04:00 GMT

Last night I was traveling around on the bike racing circuit and the season was dwindling down. My last race was at a remote location where the only parking was by this substation out on the plains of Montana.

I was surprised to be visited by my friends (actual friends that I race with). They showed up because they brought their daughter there to attend a special class that was being held there by this famous teacher.

Just before my race my friends found this cave. I suggested that they try and crawl through it but as they disappeared in the dark I decided that it was to dangerous. I called them back out.

I felt bad that I almost killed them so I attended the classes that they showed up to attend. This teacher had the only laptop and I felt like everyone was being short changed because they did not have laptops. I tried to help and eventually the teacher gave me his lap top.

I had to go race and left everyone. After I returned I attended their banquet where the teacher gave me his laptop again and told m to teach everyone. Then he shared with me how once he was married and had a daughter and a divorce happened. Soon I realized he was talking about my life and stopped him. We were siting by a lake on a dock. I left him there.

I was just about to tell my friends daughter that she should stop looking up to other and look at herself for inspiration. She was just as good as others and many cases better.

Finally I had to go home and drove back to my apartment far far away. When I arrived I felt like something was wrong. I drove back and everyone was looking for their teacher. I told him I left him at the docks and we started looking for him. I was trying to remember back and was hoping that I did not black out and kill him.

Finally he was found froze to death on the beach. he was still sitting in the chair just as I left him. I had not killed him. He just sat their and died from sadness. Then ... just before I woke up this morning I realized that my destiny was to die alone and depressed.

Vagabond Racer

Fri, 27 Oct 2006 06:33:00 GMT

Last night I was a vagabond racer. I slept in a tent and rode most of the time. I met up with this group of racers that seemed to have a lot of money. They had a RV and even had vacation homes all over the country. They invited me in all the time to hang around with them. They were young and partied all the time. I mostly hang out for the free food which I could never afford.

In the other group there were three women bike racers and the one that I really liked had a boy friend that was not only a racer but one of the top racers in the area that we were in. It seemed that I was hanging around them but I was not not a threat because I was more of a novelty. They turned to me often for advice and seemed to get close but as soon as their friends would appear they would change into party mode.

One day I had to go to the courthouse for something and I was detained by a police officer. He wanted to know what I was doing with a stem and brake cable. I would be arrested if I could not explain. I had to take it all apart and put it back together to prove it was for biking. After my exhibition he scolded me for having a frayed cable which was dangerous. In the process of arguing with him the cable became more frayed and even stuck me with frayed pieces puncturing my skin on my fingers.

Midnight Fix

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 05:29:00 GMT

I had an apartment and in the middle of the night they people renting it to me decided to come in to do repairs. Something to do with the thermostat.

They kept me up and as they were finishing up I realized that there were some ladies doing some arts and crafts in my kitchen area. I asked the one guy (My current land lords son) what was up with the ladies and he did not know.

As one was leaving he adjusted his leather jacket so that the sleeves were dangling.

I got the feeling he did not like me and blamed me for what he had just fixed. The repair men left some tools and a jacket. I was up when he arrived back to pick them up. I got no sleep.

I just awoke from my dream tired and way past 6 AM when I usually get up.

Scheduling Activities

Thu, 22 Sep 2005 06:37:00 GMT

Paul was leaving town and we had to get this hike in before he left. As the day nears for his departure, we tried to do the hike but did not get to finish it. The hike was in Connecticut.

While I was waiting, I hung out with different friends many of whom I worked with. As I approached work, one day there was a big line out the front door. There were layoffs and we were all nervous. One person commented, ”Maybe they will make us work In the oil fields“. My cousin Pat was there and he threw a fierce glace back at the person who just had commented.

At work, I was holding foot races to keep moral up. Soon thought the races were not popular anymore and it was obvious that everyone was preoccupied with the layoff.

All I could think of was that I had to call Paul and get that hike in before the day was gone. I was being laid off and he was leaving town the net day. If I could just get a hold of him at work, so I could get him out to do that hike!

Stripping The Past

Thu, 15 Sep 2005 07:31:00 GMT

Last night I was a white-water guide working somewhere near Rock Creek. Rock Creek was experiencing high water and I was running some rapids that no one else would try. I had determined that it was too dangerous for the clients so we closed up operations until the water would reside.

In the meantime we decided to hang out at the local festivities, which included the Testicle Festival (A real event!). We were parting it up and then things got wild. Suddenly my heart sank; it was my old girlfriend that I was in love with once. She had not been able to commit entirely to me but now here she was in front of me.

Actually there was a twist; she was a part of the entertainment. She was one of the strippers and soon it became apparent to everyone in the crowd that we were once a couple. It had been a long time since I saw her and I was a little excited to see her but at the same time confused.

She came over and did a dance for me and I decided to come clean and ask her a few tough questions. She granted me three questions and every time I asked the crowd would give a reaction. Question 1 … Are you happy to see me? Hey I was under pressure and couldn't get up the nerve for the one and only question.

Will you kiss me? I asked and then she offered up a tight-lipped kiss. I was upset and that was enough for me to get the last tough question out. DO YOU LOVE ME?

The crowd grew silent as she just stared at me. Couple moments passed and I was quite pleased that the question was out and she had actually shown a little emotion. She turned and walked away out of my life once again.

Back to School

Wed, 03 Aug 2005 07:23:00 GMT

Last night I went back to school. I was re-taking my Calculus classes and re-joining some old classmates that also had to take it over.

Before classes started, I hung out with some friends, most notably a woman I was interested in. We drove to a party together and she started to dance in the car. She tried to get me to dance but was disappointed that I could not.

Fearing she was getting dis-interested, I tried some things including a photo shoot for a cruise line. Along with my new job came free kamikaze drinks. I was hesitant at first because I could not afford them. However, before long I was mixing up drinks and serving my friends. I was not even wearing a shirt because I was buff.

That is when I knew it was a dream. The next day I went to church and ended up going to the same church as President Bush. Damn my luck! The Pope was also there and to celebrate their friendship these two pillars raised them up until they reached the cathedral's ceiling. Then Bush jumped upon one pillar and slid down, almost hitting me.

I was amazed at how I was afraid of heights and he was not. Then I realized, this is definitely a dream.

Being a Fish

Wed, 22 Dec 2004 06:28:00 GMT

The Ocean was crystal clear and my life in it was exciting. Every day I went to work swimming around by a factory by the beach. Cars and junk would fall into the ocean and I would retrieve it and return it to earth. While I worked, my dog Marcy would swim around and chase the fish. Occasionally she would catch one and try to eat it. I did not like this very much and discouraged it.

Then the oceans started to drain leaving land and dead trees. Life was still good and one day I made friends. We all traveled down to where the water had receded to and jumped in. We played in the water and played games that included who could get out of the water the fastest.

I found a nifty way up a cliff and out of the water and everyone else tried it. Somehow, I had just done something they all could not duplicate. For this, I was invited to a camp. At this camp, we would receive new skin on our faces. Multi-media skin. I did not want to at first because I was poor. After some thought I had to get into this new procedure.

Another new friend and I decided to do it. All the others did not do what we did, and came by occasionally out of curiosity and laughed at us. The doctor said that we would be mocked and asked if we still wanted to proceed. We did.

First, the head was deep fat fried. The doctor would then peel off all the skin and flesh, leaving only muscle and bones. Then he would apply the new skin, which was controlled by circuit boards installed in the brain. The skin could become anything we wanted, even change colors.

The procedure never finished, as I was shocked to find out the we started eating the flesh from the presentation that the doctor used(to show us what he would do). We realized, at least I did, and that this was what they were really going to do. Eat our flesh.

The Dark Tower

Mon, 20 Dec 2004 01:34:00 GMT

The sun was out and I was back in college again. Yesterday I had climbed into a tower at campus. On top I lost a bunch of typed work as well as a ream of new paper. I have come back today to claim my papers and because I needed the new paper. I am too poor to buy new. To my distress it is all gone. What shall I do?

Hit and Run

Fri, 17 Dec 2004 05:45:00 GMT

Setting was in a place that was not Missoula but almost like it. The characters were a friend of mine which I secretly liked and her young son which loved me.

Also there was this girl which was younger than me, but I liked very much. She got hit by a car just like Julies young son had been a month before. Her father blamed me and told me to get out of her life. He remarked that I was an empty person and that I needed to define myself. I told him not to judge people but knew he was right.

The Procrastinators Choice

Tue, 14 Dec 2004 06:42:00 GMT

I had plans to go to work at Mars Stout. If I did not leave in about an hour, I would be late for the first time since I was employed there. Nevertheless, there was a problem. I stopped by Viking Ski and Cycle on my way to the airport where my flight waited to take me back to Montana.

I felt like I was in trouble but maybe I was feeling pressure to work at Viking again. Jim was the manager and he proposed to me that they could use me to finish their tile job in one for the offices. I bragged so much that I knew how, I felt a pull to prove myself and to do the job. If I took the job, I may lose my job back in Montana. I thought maybe I could do the job fast, make the flight, and actually make it back in time for my real job.

I said, ”No problem“, and started to work cleaning up the room. The more I cleaned the further behind the deadline I got. I found old messes that I had made while working there four years ago. I was falling behind.

Jim visited me and told me that they were planning a bigger project and that I could be re-hired full time. I sounded interested but I knew deep down how much I liked my job back in Montana. Then the owner Dave Colin showed up. He was interviewing a network and website person and it seemed he was doing it in front of me for a reason. Was he saying that I still would not be smart enough to work in the front offices? I think he was!

I was mad, but the job was as big as ever. I realized that their was a decision to make. This job or go back to Montana for the job I really liked. Jim appeared and gave me a job to take the company van and to gas it up in preparation for their yearly trip to Interbike, a yearly bike exposition.

I was sucked in and knew that I had better stay there and work for Viking. I already missed my opportunity to go back to Montana. I felt the dark cloud of suppression coming over me. My life was doomed …. Again!